


Where Are You Destroya?

by Raven052



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, killjoys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1249435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven052/pseuds/Raven052
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere out in the desert, in 2019, the rebels are heading out in an attack against Better Living. <br/>But they are missing some key people. <br/>A cold and disillusioned Party Poison refuses to help and refuses to acknowledge the fight he helped to start, while a desperate Fun Ghoul attempts to remind him of what he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Are You Destroya?

The sun was setting in the desert, staining the sky pink, and in some places red.   
All Party Poison saw in that sky, and on the sand it shone on, was blood.   
So much blood spilt on that sand, under that sky.   
He turned his back on it. Slumping down on the make shift bed of blankets and stiff pillows. 

"Poison." He heard his name being called, by the only person he'd heard for weeks, months now.   
His fellow Killjoy, friend, and, when the mood struck, lover, Fun Ghoul.   
Party Poison didn't look up, though he sensed the other man standing in the doorway.   
"Poison." Ghoul repeated, a little harsher. "They're calling for you, again."   
"Fuck them." Poison said, flatly.   
"Poison..."   
"I've told you Ghoul and I've told THEM, I don't give a fuck. I'm not helping. I'm not going."   
Fun Ghoul sighed, stepping further into the room. "You know they can't do this without you."   
Party Poison shrugged. "Maybe they shouldn't be doing it then."   
"For fucks sake Gerard!"   
The Killjoy was on his feet in seconds, moving so fast, Fun Ghoul didn't have time to defend himself or get out of the way before he was pinned, roughly against the wall, Party Poison glaring at him, terrifyingly.   
He was scared, like he often was around the Killjoy leader these days, but Fun Ghoul didn't look away, forcing himself to meet those eyes. Wondering just when the kindness had disappeared from them.   
Of course, he knew exactly when it had happened.   
"Don't you dare." Poison hissed. "Don't you dare use that name. Don't try to soften me up by using that name." Then he grinned, nastily, "Didn't you hear? He doesn't exist anymore."   
Fun Ghoul shook his head. "You're still here." He hated when Poison got like this. Distanced, detached from the world, from the man he'd used to be.   
Still was, Ghoul was convinced, but Poison wouldn't admit it, he'd created a hardened shell for himself.   
Party Poison laughed, shortly. "Keep telling yourself that." He said.   
"Ge-" Ghoul began, stopping when he saw the sharp look he was being given, she sighed, correcting himself, "Poison. Stop that, stop saying you're not here anymore. Stop acting like you're-"   
"Dead?"  
Fun Ghoul didn't like the blunt way the Killjoy leader had said it, but he nodded.   
"You're not dead. You're here, alive, and... And you're all I've got now! So stop this!"   
To that, Poison said nothing, turning to face out of the window, away from the younger man.   
"How long?" Poison asked, throwing Ghoul off entirely.   
"What?"   
"How long until the mission?"   
Ghoul stared at him, daring to hope. Had something Ghoul said got through to him? Was he going to help after all, finally? Like he'd used to?   
"About half an hour. We have time to get there." Ghoul told him.   
Party Poison nodded.   
Then, turning back, with a small, mischievous grin, his tired eyes betraying him, "What do you say to fucking during the end of the world?"   
Fun Ghoul stared at him, mouth hanging open slightly in disbelief.   
Poison had to be kidding.   
"Poison! Now is not the time for fooling around!"   
"You're so adamant I'm still here? Still alive? Go on then, prove it to me. Make me feel something."  
Ghoul shook his head. “You’re just avoiding the subject.”  
Poison shrugged, “Maybe.” Then, that grin back in place, he moved closer to Ghoul, dangerously close. “But, c’mon, you really gonna say no to me?”  
A rather loud part of Fun Ghoul’s brain was screaming (whimpering), ‘no’, but he forced himself to say, out loud, “Yes. I’m telling you, it’s not gonna happen, not now, not while there are people waiting for-”  
“For _death_ to come and fucking claim them! _That_ is what they are waiting for, Ghoul, and you’re asking me to join them. You talk about me still being alive, but in the same breath you’re asking me to walk right into the line of fire. Have you come to hate me that fucking much?”   
Poison’s eyes were gleaming, fiery once again.  
And Ghoul couldn’t help thinking, when he wasn’t terrifying in one way, it was in another.   
Fuck. He wanted the old Party Poison back.  
(He wanted Gerard back).  
Ghoul shook his head, “Hate you? What makes you think I hate you? Poison I- I just want you to start acting the way you used to, is that so hard? Is that so much to ask?”  
Poison appeared, briefly, to soften.  
The hardness quickly returned however. “Yes.” And, again, he turned his back on the other Killjoy.  
Fun Ghoul felt like screaming.   
“Poison!” He snapped, feeling desperate, frustrated.  
The words that next left his mouth were accidental, if true. “What happened is not my fault! Stop treating me like I barely exist, except for when you feel like it! Stop acting like you don’t exist! We are still here. And what happened that day was no one’s fault, it happened, it’s what happens out here in zones! It’s no one’s fault that Ray and Mikey-”  
Fun Ghoul found himself, flat on his back before he could finish that sentence.  
Above him, pinning him down, Party Poison looked more furious and more terrifying than ever.  
“Don’t.” He hissed. “Don’t you dare bring them up. And don’t use those names. Don’t!”   
Ghoul closed his eyes, finally, admitting to himself that he couldn’t deal with the look on Poison’s face anymore.  
“I’m not asking you to forget them.” He said, quietly. “I can’t either. You think I’m not hurting too? You think you’re the only one missing them? They were my friends too. So I know, I know how much it hurts. That’s why I wouldn’t let you out of my sight. That’s why, anything you asked, I did. That’s why, I asked, everyday, for weeks, how you were. You never once… You never once asked if I was okay.”  
To all this, Poison didn’t know what to say.  
He’d been so caught up, in his own anger and grief, he’d somehow, for the first time in his life, been unable to pay attention to the emotions of those closest to him.   
Or perhaps he’d just taken on all of Ghoul’s grief too, and mistaken it for his own.   
“Poison.” Ghoul said, opening his eyes, finally. “As much as you might think you are… You’re not in this alone.”  
Poison’s eyes went wide then, as those words suddenly triggered something, a memory.   
A line in a song.   
Ghoul hadn’t realised what he’d done, but he was amazed when, suddenly, a very small shift in the Killjoy leader occurred.   
The look in his eyes seemed to soften, to something so familiar, but so long lost.  
The near permanent frown disappeared from Poison’s face, and something, not quite a smile, but certainly something a little kinder, appeared.  
Then Poison shifted back, off Ghoul slightly, wrapping his arms around him, pulling him up into a tight hug.   
And then, something that hadn’t happened since that day.   
The Killjoy leader allowed himself to cry.  
Softly, at first, still trying to hold it back, but soon it became more forceful, shaking his body.  
He clung to Ghoul tight, his fingers curling into the fabric of the killjoy’s jacket, holding on, it seemed, for dear life, as the tears flowed heavily.  
The other Killjoy held on just as tight, burying his face in his leader’s shoulder, trying to continue to deny his own tears, the ones he’d sworn to never let Poison see.  
It didn’t last long now.  
Finally, he was allowed to mourn, openly.   
And, he also cried because he knew, finally, he’d broken through.  
He had _his_ Party Poison back. The one who felt, so keenly, the one who cared, the one who _believed._

Slowly, Ghoul raised his head, leaning back ever so slightly, waiting for Poison to lift his head, just enough.  
Their lips softly met, tears could be tasted.  
The kiss was gentle, but loving.   
It made Ghoul want to cry more.  
It wasn’t only Party Poison he’d got back.  
It was, unmistakably, Gerard too.

The kiss deepened, to something urgent, and longing. It was as if they hadn’t touched, hadn’t seen each other in months. The hands that clung to each other became, almost impossibly, even tighter.   
“I’m sorry.” Poison said.  
“Don’t be.”  
They moved over, onto the makeshift bed, and, slowly undressed each other.  
“I’m sorry I left you.” Poison said, again, making it clearer what his apology was.  
Again, Ghoul shook his head, refusing the apology, he didn’t want it, he didn’t need it.  
He had everything he needed.  
Their hands moved over each others exposed skin, savouring it, again, as if it had been so long.  
It had been so long, Ghoul thought, since it was like this. The times they’d had sex since… The incident, had all been harsh, forceful, and Ghoul had been very aware that it was all on Poison’s terms, that he was being used as a way for Poison to vent his anger and frustration.   
If Ghoul hadn’t loved him so much, perhaps he would’ve protested.   
This, now, was something so very different. This was what they had been before.  
The love was back. 

Ghoul decided to try something he hadn’t tried for months, gently pushing Poison onto his back, moving on top of him.  
Poison allowed it, allowing Ghoul dominance, control. He allowed his legs to be parted.  
“I need this.” He said, when Ghoul hesitated, briefly. “I need you.”  
Ghoul kissed him, softly, glad to have been given the permission.  
Things felt so new again, he didn’t want to do anything wrong. 

The sex was slow, careful. Both very aware that they hadn’t had sex this way around for… A long time.   
Ghoul was especially careful, not wanting to hurt Poison.  
But it was good like this, so good.  
Poison lifted his arms up, curling around Ghoul, pulling him down, kissing him.  
“Thank you.” Poison said.  
“What for?”  
“For not trying to hurt me.”   
Ghoul pushed himself up a little, frowning down at his lover.  
“I wouldn’t blame you, for everything I’ve done. I half expected you to… Try and punish me for it. But…” He broke off, looking Ghoul in the eyes. “You wouldn’t do that, would you?”   
Ghoul shook his head, fiercely, then kissed Poison, hard.  
“I’m just glad you’re here.” He said, quietly.  
The only sounds that filled the place after that were soft gasps and moans, they didn’t talk anymore, they didn’t have to.

After, they curled close, wrapped in each others arms, happy to feel each others warm skin pressed against theirs.  
Their eyes closed, even as they still, very lightly, kissed.

A loud boom, which sounded far off, but at the same time felt very, very close, caused them both to snap their eyes wide open again.

The attack.  
They’d missed it after all. 

They both scrambled to their knees, and looked out the window just above where they’d been laying. 

Looking out, there was still a slight after glow of whatever the explosion had been.  
A little orange and red still stained the black sky, making it look like it was still dusk.   
Smoke could be seen, faintly, rolling out over the disturbed sand.   
“We missed it.” Ghoul said, disbelievingly. After everything he’d done, tried to do, to make the Killjoy leader go with him, they’d ended up giving in to their own selfish needs.  
Poison wrapped his arm around Ghoul’s bare shoulders, squeezing gently. “Perhaps we were supposed to.”   
Fun Ghoul was shaking, heavily. He knew a lot of the Killjoy’s who had gone. Some great fighters.  
Some great people.  
How many were left?  
“Ghoul.” Poison said, softly.  
Then, even more gently, he said, “Frank.”  
The smaller Killjoy looked up suddenly, with startled eyes.  
Poison continued, “You came into this room to come and get me, didn’t you? To convince me to be what I was, to be the leader, and the person I was. Frank, you… You did that. I haven’t felt more like… Me since we lost…” He trailed off.  
And Ghoul slightly marvelled over the fact that, for the first time, Poison had said ‘we lost’.   
“We didn’t go to this uprising, no. But, that means it’s not over. You and me, we’re still here. And I can bet you, there’s still some others out there.”  
Fun Ghoul felt a small swell of hope.  
Was Party Poison saying… What he thought he was?  
“I started all this, and, I know, I’ve been absent for a hell of a long time. I wanted nothing to do with any of it, but. Now, I promise, I’m here. We’re here.”   
Fun Ghoul smiled, grinned, he knew, he knew exactly what Party Poison was saying. 

They hurriedly got dressed, and Party Poison headed out into the main building, quickly finding the transmitter that had only been answered by Fun Ghoul for months.

Switching it on, Party Poison said into it,  
“Testing. Anyone still breathing out there?”  
Fun Ghoul had followed now, and stood, a little away from Poison, watching and listening carefully.  
Poison waited, nervously for a reply.  
“I’m still here.” A young, defiant voice replied.  
“And who’s this?” Poison said, a small smile on his face.  
“Name’s Toxic Note, who the fuck is this?”   
Poison laughed, and replied, “This is Party Poison. Back from the dead.”   
He waited as, suddenly, the transmitter exploded with noise, as more Killjoys joined in the conversation, responding, loudly to the sound of Poison’s voice.  
He waited for the noise to quiet.  
“Good to hear there’s still enough of us out there. First, let me apologise for being absent so long.”  
Again, the transmitter exploded with noise.  
“I’m not explaining over the airwaves.” Poison insisted. “But, I promise, should we meet in person, you’ll all get a full apology and an explanation.”  
That seemed to calm them, and, finally, Party Poison began to prepare himself to say what he needed to, what he wanted to right now.  
Fun Ghoul watched as Poison closed his eyes, briefly, then, opening them again, said,  
“I know we’re down, both in numbers and in spirits. But we are not out. This was the first push, and I’m sorry for those who lost friends, family during this. I understand.”  
He looked up, briefly at Fun Ghoul, who nodded.   
“But, remember. Killjoys never die.”  
Again, he paused.  
“I nearly forgot that. But we cannot let them forget it. We will make the BLIND see that we will not die, we will not back down. They have their stinking city, their pills and their ‘better’ lives, but this desert is ours, and they cannot destroy us!”  
He could feel the tense excitement of all those listening, a low hum of noise thumming through the airwaves.   
With a small grin at Fun Ghoul, who grinned right back, Party Poison finished with,  
“Killjoys… Make some noise!”  
He put the transmitter down on the table as cheers, cries, and engine roars burst through, loud and triumphant. 

Fun Ghoul watched as his leader grinned down at the transmitter, his face filled with pride.   
Party Poison tossed his head back, his red hair briefly swept back, before landing, once again, just slightly over his eyes.  
He turned around to look at his fellow Killjoy once more.

“So. Ready to run?” Party Poison asked, reaching for something else left untouched, his mask.  
Fun Ghoul pushed himself off the wall. “Right behind you.”  
At that, Party Poison grabbed his hand, making Ghoul stagger slightly as he was dragged close.  
“Not sure if I trust you behind me.” Poison whispered, teasingly, a little seductively.   
_Oh yeah. He’d back alright._ Ghoul thought, happily. 

One final time, Party Poison picked up the transmitter, just as he and Fun Ghoul finished packing their few things into the trunk of the trans am.   
They were standing outside now, by the car, Ghoul had tried to convince Poison to wait until morning, but the older Killjoy insisted he’d wasted enough time.   
Party Poison had left the transmitter on, the noise coming from it only encouraging him into action quicker.  
Before getting in, Poison had one final message to the rest of the Killjoys. 

“Keep running. I’ll catch you out there. Party Poison and Fun Ghoul, signing… Out!”


End file.
